the crackiest crack fic
by Follower of Light
Summary: The Title says it all. It has everything from Chuck Norris to Hitlers head exploding. Meant for anyone looking for a good laugh.


**AN: It took me about five minutes to come up with this. It will only be funny if you imagine a 15 year old teen ranting this and picture what is going on.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in this, I will not list the stuff because there is too much.**

It was a beautiful day in konoha. The sun was hiding the birds were dieing, and the rookie 9 weren't rookie enough to be rookies so as a penalty they were all striped of rank and sent back to the academy at age 16. They were in class being taught about peanuts and root beer. They were about to start their assignment when there was a flash of light in the sky and Iruka went to check it out when all of the sudden the millennium falcon came out of no where and crashed into the academy. the crash only killed Iruka because of that large scare on his nose. Just then Han Solo jumped out and shot Kiba between the eyes then ran away screaming something about poison Ivy and care bears and how he hates cats. Then chewy came out and ripped choji and shino's arms and ate them. Shikamaru caught him in the shadow possession jutsu. Chewy went BBBBLLLLAAAHHHH and threw up their arms onto each of them. With a fffffttt there arms reattached to their bodies as if they never gone. The only problem was THEY HAD THE WRONG ARMS!! As they ran away screaming like little girls Naruto jumped up with a Rasengan and blasted it into chewbacca. He then exploded into CANDY! Then the air raid sirens started playing the A-team music. They ran to the walls to see Michael Jackson and his army of little boys were doing the moon walk on the water and were storming the beaches of normandy outside Konoha. The defenseless ninjas sent out there secret weapon...From the gate came Chuck Norris and he started to kick homo ass. Just then Genma ran up to the group with anko, Ibiki, Hayate, Kakashi, Asuma, and Shizune. They all had red arm bands with a cicle and a hammer. Anko put a commissar hat on and they all pulled out assorted mosin nagotes and PPSH's. Then they all yelled "FOR MOTHER RUSSIA" and ran off to kill Dora the explorer and boots. "Holy Snap!! I didn't know they were communists!!" yelled Naruto everyone just looked at him like he was a retard. "Aren't you one?" asked Sasuke. "Um...No why should I be. There dumb." Hinata walked over and stood next to him and agreed. "Communism is for retards!!" screamed Naruto and Hinata. Just then all the ninjas stopped fighting and looked at them "KILL THE INFIDELS!!" They all screamed and chased after them.

Just when It was hopeless Ash and Pikachu came out of a portal from hell and started fighting the little boys and Dora. After he defeated them he started to make friends with them When he was shot between the eyes. "NO ONE LIKES ANIME WITH MORALS AT THE END OF EVERY EPISODE YOU RETARD!!" screamed Han Solo from his pile of rubble he had claimed in the name of all smugglers everywhere. Just then Out of no where Vikings started to come out of the sky. They landed in Konoha and started to pillage and rape the women namely Sakura. God looked over this mess and decided to smite everything except the innocent because it was an embarrassment to creation. He formed a large hand in the sky and everyone looked at it. The hand pulled out a desert eagle (Very big pistol) and shot. Everyone in the entire Fic died except for Naruto and Hinata. When they realized that the commies weren't chasing them they stopped and looked at the destroyed city. They sat down on an intact couch. Hinata just couldn't stop herself. She had waited years for this she leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. He returned it and then it went out of control. They both ripped each others clothes off and started going at it like wild animals When Adolf Hitler came out of Deutchland(Germany in german) He came up and saw they two teens god chose to repopulate Konoha doing their job.

"Mine Got en Heivel!!" He screamed as his head exploded. The two love birds didn't even notice as they continued to do things that would put icha icha paradise to shame. Unknown to them Jiraiya was sitting with Han 3 miles away with large nose bleeds and binoculars. Then The scene turned to God with a finger pointing...AT ME!!

"AUTHOR!! NEXT I'M COMING FOR YOU!!"

Then I ran away pissing my pants.

(The phrase hitler said translates into "my god in heaven")


End file.
